Morton Arthur Goldthwait is a nerdy 14-year-old. He's in love with Paige, and asks her to the dance whenever there is one. He is a super genius, and also holds a high position in the video game football tournaments. He was a counselor in Camp Bohrmore that Jason and Marcus went to. While Paige thinks very lowly of Morton, Jason sees him as a stud. He once threw a Halloween party at his house, which He invited Paige, only to have Paige run screaming in horror. Nicole, Paige's best friend, agreed to go with her at the cost of all the money in her piggy bank. At the party, it is a nightmare for Paige. Morton annoys Paige in the extreme, but when he stopped asking Paige and instead asked Mary Ellen Finklestein, Paige became extremely mad at him, probably thinking "What? I'm not good enough for him?"

Morton is a freshman, yet he is seen in a few strips with Peter, who is a junior. It can't be that Morton has skipped two grades, because Morton is seen in gym with Peter, and we all know there's no way Morton skipped two grades in gym. Once, Peter was paired up with Morton for a science lab and Peter was lured into going to Morton's house when Morton "understood that you're popular, but I'm just a lowly freshman who gets straight A++s."